Anonymous asked: How do I convince my friend to stop seeing me as a brother and start looking at me as at least third cousins so we can make out?

Okay, easy fix. 

Step 1: Swipe the keys to your friend’s car.

Step 2: Steal a baby.

Step 3: Place the baby in the car and lock the doors.

Step 4: Call the cops if your friend doesn’t agree to make out with you.

Step 5: Run away.