February 2012
1 tag
Okay, you know how some ladies after watching a chick flick think to themselves, “Gosh golly, why can’t I meet a guy who will sweep me off my feet, build me a house and be madly in love with me forever and blah blah blah. Oh yeah, because my life sucks.” Tonight I had that moment after watching Underworld. Well, it was more like, “Why can’t I be the unique offspring...
Feb 11th
9 notes
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Feb 10th
94 notes
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Feb 10th
162 notes
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Feb 10th
14 notes
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The guy at Best Buy asked me if I bought a blue laptop to match my eyes. I told him yes, but only because they were out of black to match my heart. 
Feb 10th
29 notes
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Feb 10th
331 notes
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Feb 10th
39 notes
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As I merrily walked around the park with my mace in hand, I stumbled upon a woman who looked like Stephen King with a ponytail and boobs.  Accurate depiction shown below.
Feb 10th
11 notes
Feb 9th
5 notes
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Feb 9th
12 notes
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Feb 9th
54 notes
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Feb 9th
11 notes
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Feb 9th
23 notes
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Feb 9th
14 notes
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Feb 9th
103 notes
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Guys, if you’re planning on taking your special lady to a Valentine’s Day screening of “This Means War,” just break up already.
Feb 9th
5 notes
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Feb 9th
89 notes
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Feb 9th
16 notes
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Feb 9th
35 notes
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Feb 9th
29 notes
3 tags
Feb 9th
135 notes
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Feb 9th
2,937 notes
5 tags
Feb 9th
14 notes
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Feb 9th
462 notes
Feb 8th
11 notes
2 tags
Feb 8th
9,688 notes
My strategy for when I’m losing an argument in class is to just act real cool, chuckle a little while I shake my head, and abruptly run away because fuck that shit.
Feb 8th
2 notes
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Feb 8th
2,681 notes
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Feb 8th
66 notes
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When I eat Spider-Man gummy candy I don’t even notice which character I’m eating anymore. I guess I’m an adult now. 
Feb 7th
9 notes
5 tags
Feb 7th
53 notes
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Feb 7th
10,540 notes
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Feb 7th
73 notes
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Feb 7th
350 notes
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Feb 7th
384 notes
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Anonymous asked: You look like a person in a Kay commercial. So you should be proud, having a face similar to the woman sweeping the jewelry commercial scene.
Feb 7th
3 notes
Huh, my workout clothes make excellent sleeping clothes. Gonna go take a nap. 
Feb 7th
4 notes
2 tags
Feb 7th
10,929 notes
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Feb 7th
66 notes
4 tags
Feb 7th
5 notes
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Feb 7th
199 notes
I wanna go back to the generation when a guy had...
It’s okay guys. I’ve got it on good authority that the original poster is on the outs with Doc Brown. We’re all safe for now.  Nevertheless, it’s moments like these that make you realize just how special time is. Take some time out to show your jeans just how much you appreciate them, ladies. 
Feb 7th
124,218 notes
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Feb 6th
60 notes
3 tags
Feb 6th
32 notes
4 tags
Feb 6th
18 notes
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Is there an emoticon for wanting to curl up and die?
Feb 6th
7 notes
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Feb 6th
9 notes
5 tags
Feb 6th
9 notes
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Feb 6th
485 notes
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Feb 6th
12,685 notes