Bowling and bringing shame upon my family

chuckingwood asked: You come back to Tumblr just as Jennifer Lawrence nudes were release. As a detective now, I'm not allowed to believe in coincidence.

Nah, I’ll wait until she gets naked in a film or something. There’s just something about invading a person’s privacy that doesn’t do it for me.

I got all fancy for free booze. (My cousin got married today. Huzzah!) 🍺🍺🍺
elsoldesnudo:

Fantastic Mr. Rocket Raccoon

Anonymous asked: Are you aware, or at least have a general idea of how beautiful you are?

When I look at my reflection I’m usually like “meh”, but every now and then I’m like “damn”. I hope this clears things up. 

brudesworld:

RIP Richard Attenborough (August 29, 1923 - August 24, 2014)
It’s a Dinosaur by Mark Englert, 2013
infinitemachine:

Monster of the Day: Godzilla 2014 by WretchedSpawn2012

Anonymous asked: Have you changed a lot over the last five years?

I learned how to use a bobby pin correctly.

So, yes.

Anonymous asked: What's the best line to use on a girl?

"Hi, my name is Ryan Gosling. What is your name?"

Room service guy quotes The Wizard of Oz and asks me if I’ve ever heard of the film. I slowly shut the door in his face.